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Auditions for Rumors

RUMORS
By Neil Simon

Auditions December 27 and December 29 at the Phoenix Theatre 7:00 p.m.

At a large, tastefully appointed Sneden's Landing townhouse, the Deputy Mayor of New York has just shot himself. Though only a flesh wound, four couples are about to experience a severe attack of Farce. Gathering for their tenth wedding anniversary, the host lies bleeding in the other y before the other guests arrive. As the confusions and mis-communications mount, the evening spins off into classic farcical hilarity.

Characters:

KEN GORMAN – (40) A well-to-do lawyer. Wealthy, but by no means pretentious. Takes charge of the situation. Married to Chris. Halfway through the show, a gunshot causes his temporary deafness. 
 
CHRIS GORMAN – (mid-30’s) Another lawyer, married to Ken. Beautiful, easily flustered. Frantically tries to maintain normalcy at the party. Has recently quit smoking, which drives her to drink a bit more. 
 
LENNY GANZ – (Late 30’s, early 40’s) – A wealthy accountant, distraught over the recent destruction over his new car. Starts the show with an extreme case of whiplash. Intolerant of the gossipy-lifestyle that he is often involved in. 
 
CLAIRE GANZ – (Late 30’s) – Lenny’s wife. Very concerned with appearances (hers and others’). Starts the play with a swollen lip. Likes to gossip. 
 
ERNIE CUSACK – (Early 50’s) – a psychiatrist. Affable, smokes a pipe. Loves his wife very much. Tries to be as helpful as possible cooking the evening’s dinner. 
 
COOKIE CUSACK – (40’s) – has her own cooking show. Suffers from extreme back spasms. Loves her husband very much. A bit absent-minded at times. 
 
GLENN COOPER – (30-40) A handsome man running for State Senate. Worried about his own reputation. Struggles with placating his wife, who is convinced he is having an affair (which he may or may not be). 
 
CASSIE COOPER – (late 20’s, early 30’s) Glenn’s beautiful wife. Obsesses over her husbands’ relationships with other women. Quick to anger. Must rub her quartz crystal to calm herself down. 
 
OFFICER WELCH (M) – (30-50) – A city police officer having a rough night. Does not tolerate lying. Sees through the “classy” façade that these high-society types put up. 
 
OFFICER PUDNEY (F) – (20-30) – Welch’s partner. A strong but silent type.

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